Gabrielle Senza

I managed to show up completely “on” today, after making a few small
miracles happen - finding a childcare solution for the day at the
last minute, miscommunicating, but managing to arrange with Keith on
when we’d be meeting up this morning, and getting Hannah & Cora
together to start collaborating on the Global Warning piece for he
New Marlborough show - all within the same hour!!!
I was really enthused talking with Keith about the numbers, the
architecture for the spreadsheets, what to have ready when
approaching my investors (Keith is thinking 3) and how it should
look. . .
I’ve sent him my most recent set of spreadsheets with Meryl’s actual
numbers for the space, etc. $2700/month for rent & utilities. 1800
square feet. Should I look at other spaces? Compare apples with
apples? Is there a better deal or a better space? The First & Fenn
seems most appropriate and perfect in so many ways - more than I can
list right now (since I should really be sending out the announcement
for the Open Studio Party!!!), but when I walked in to the space
today, I could smell the mold from the basement (the black nasty-
looking stuff that’s on the walls down there). . . That concerns
me. . . but, well, I’m open.
Cora & Hannah & I brainstormed a bit about the Global Warning piece
for the New Marlborough show and we came up with the possibility of all working together on a giant print taht we could create at the CAC in North Adams. It would be so much fun! We will each draw in elements of our own, developing our ideas in our own hands! Later we headed up to Pittsfield. Today was their first time meeting. Hanna is much more talkative than Cora, but they seemed to get along really well. It was great to see Cora’s face lighting up whenever an idea or possibility sparked her. They were so GREAT in the studio. They
both sketched in trees from some of my photographs onto 2 canvases.
They accomplished in 2 hours what would have taken me 4 to 6! They
were each able to paint in the tree anatomies with grace and beauty!
Being a bit undecided about what I wanted to do in the limited amount
of time we had left, I decided to just put a layer of scumbled green
umber over that “misty” tree landscape Molly Troy & I had worked on
over various times. . . I could hardly contain my shock and
excitement when I saw the effect the painting had with the green over
the entire image - shrouding the landscape in that very monochromatic
sillouette I tried so hard t get in my early (1987) pastels of the
trees along the Saint Lawrence Seaway that has haunted me to this
day! It always alluded me! But today, without even intending to
keep the painting as a landscape - voila! - it appeared as the
embodiment of the feeling that I got when trying to absorb into my
mind’s eye those fuzzy tree images shrouded in the deep summer
magestic night. I could picture immediately a wall of 12 of these
paintings - done on the 16 x 16 x 3 inch canvases - each one a
different color - red, orange, green, blue, teal, yellow, purple,
etc. It would look stunning. Whew! I finally made it!
The sudden idea to consider other locales has sent me into a bit of a
dither!
Now my mind is pounding on me for “not getting this done”, or “not
getting that done”. . . when time is of the essence!
The dark voices of doubt are getting louder. It’s such a chore to
keep them at bay. (And I’d been doing so well!!!)
It’s like, “sorry, wrong number” then hanging up.
I feel like Cinderella wanting to go to the ball, but having all this
work set upon her !
So now again, I’m anxious about everything! The bank account, the
rent, Meryl ’s space, the mess on my desk, the bills, the messy spots
in the house, stuff waiting to be moved out of the house, convincing
my investors, losing faith in myself, losing faith in my project -
but KNOWING it is all those dark voices of the past hounding at me,
trying to undermine me. . .I cannot let them in! I must make them
leave. But when I can’t get thedoor slammed tight enough, and
they’ve got a foot in, yikes! It’s like, I need an earth-moving
machine to get them out of there!

Well, indulging in some delicious dark chocolate seems to be
helping. . .
Now I have to turn my attention to:
• Getting the Open Studios list out via email
• Putting a list of folks I want to call to invite to the Open
Studio event
• Bring in energy to encourage lots of people to visit, moving lots
of art pieces out and several thousand dollars IN!
• Send out e-Announcement for the Benefit Party
• Send out note + $ to Stebby!
• Send out mom’s estate papers.
• Make a beautiful poster!
• Make a beautiful business proposal!
• Make appointments to show the Plan to my advisors.
• Write some fundraising letters!!!
• Bring in $21,000 from art sales, jobs, paperwork, etc. to deposit
by a week from today!

So here goes. Light that candle, rub that STRENGTH token, and get to
work! One baby-step at a time!

That very uncomfortable position of “not knowing” has arrived. . .
Will Meryl agree to rent me the big space in the Howard Building?
Will we be able to settle on an amount that will be comfortable for
both of us? Will I be able to enroll enough investors and have the
Seed Money available for securing the space by mid July, so we can be
in on August 1?
When I begin to spin my tires in the zone of the unknown, that is
when I try to focus my attention on completing just one more little
bite-sized piece of the grand picture, and then another and another. . .
The waiting game.
The first bite-sized piece is creating an excel sheet of my amazing
team of advisors - there are 19! They are mostly collectors of my
work, all are successful and I am deeply honored to have the
privilege of having the opportunity to learn from every one!
Next I started constructing a list of all the people that have
purchased my work either through galleries or from the studio - as
these will be a critical group I will hope to enroll as investors.
so far, I have 75 on my list, and there are many more to go. . .
That’s encouraging. I will be writing to them & calling to ask for
images and info of the art pieces they have in their collections -
plus, dates, dimensions, etc - since I’d like to get a catalogue
raisonne together at some point.
A list of galleries and other venues interested in handling my work
also seems like a pretty good idea. . .

After looking at the various spaces available in the Howard Building
with Karen Cellini & Christine Heller yesterday, a vision came to me,
that encouraged me to shed the “I’ll make do with whatever I can get”
mindset. Instead, I had a complete vision of my fully functioning,
THRIVING Art Kitchen enterprise operating in full-swing in the so-
called “cafe space” located on the ground floor of the Howard
Building at the corner of First & Fenn.
The space is large enough to encompass the full extent of studio
operations that I have in mind for the next five years, including
comfortably accommodating the interns, business advisors, clients,
etc that will be working with me. It was odd, but after looking at
the other spaces in the Howard Building and deciding to go in on
sharing the Storefront Artist Project with C & K (giving us each
only 12 x 16 feet to work in), my brain started working incessantly
on creating this other vision of taking occupancy of the entire Cafe
space for my studio enterprise instead. The vision was surrounded by
light and filled with color!
It in fact, would be perfect. It has a private bathroom, storage
room and kitchen/wash room, plus an already built-out wired area for
computer & office equipment, large storefront windows (one for
displaying Red Collaborative projects, merchandise and info; the
other for promoting sales of Art Kitchen Products and commissions),
large, open light-filled studio space, hardwood floor, very high
ceiling, lights, electricity and heat. It is self-contained within
the building, yet shares the flow of creative storefront artist
project energy and the undisclosed potential for the rest of the
building’s development as an artists building.
It is very exciting and makes me feel buoyant, the thought of living
into my dream!!!
I hope God, the Universe and Meryl share that vision as well! The
potential to thrive there is enormous!